Tuesday, July 19, 2011

My mind has been wondering a lot lately and mostly focusing on Isabelle's up coming heart surgery.  The worrying about her surgery combined with the lack of sleep is beginning to take its toll.  Isabelle is by far my best sleeper out of all the kids.  She has slept through the night most every night since she came home from the hospital (thank you NICU for getting her on a sleep schedule!).  So, my lack of sleep has more to do with me not being able to get my mind to stop racing long enough to fall asleep.  I end up staying awake until midnight every night catching up on some shows and wondering if Isabelle might want to wake up one more time for one last feeding.  Then throughout the night, I strain to hear her breathing so I don't feel the need to get out of bed and lay my hand over her chest.  Even with her heart monitor, I still need that reassurance that she is ok.  We will find out in a few short weeks when Isabelle will have her surgery.  I am nervous and afraid but I know that she will feel so much better after the surgery. 
Sleeping beauty!
We are beginning to get into our routine of therapy and doctor's appointments but most importantly- everyday life with our new little girl.  She had therapy again yesterday and she is doing great.  I found myself smiling throughout the session especially when Isabelle was lying on her tummy and held her head up nice and strong.  She reminded me of a baby turtle with her neck stretched out and looking around requesting praise for her accomplishments.  I enjoy watching the therapist and I try to soak up everything she is doing with Isabelle so we can practice our "homework" every night.  She is such a strong little girl and doesn't complain at all during her session.  She makes me proud!!  
This is how Isabelle likes to sleep.  I think she is spending too much time around the boys!

Last night, we were in the living room and I watched as Ryan was lying beside Isabelle, holding her hand and watching her sleep and after about 10 minutes, I asked him what he was doing and he replied "I am just looking at our beautiful daughter."  It took a lot to hold back the tears.  Isabelle definitely has her Daddy (and brothers) wrapped around her little finger.   Isabelle has blessed us so much already and we are lucky to have her in our lives.  I am learning very quickly that all of my worrying and sleepless nights are worth it.    

The kids early morning routine- cartoons.  Ethan is starting her early.

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