Sunday, January 1, 2012

My Isabelle

Isabelle had an ENT appointment on Friday.  We got up early and headed an hour away to see if we could get a solution for some of her congestion.  We arrived and 10 minutes later, we were done with our appointment and headed back to our car.
Isabelle got a great report and her ears and nose are all clear and he was able to see into her canal without any issues.  He was surprised that they were not as small as most babies with DS.  But, no solution to her congestion and we may just have to deal with until she gets bigger or out grows it.
Although we got great news in the office, I was torn during our appointment.  The doctor was great and very loving with Isabelle but he called her or children with DS- Downs at least 15 times during those 10 minutes.  It completely caught me off guard and the first few times I made excuses for it (in my head).  I left without saying anything and made it to my car before bursting in to tears.  It broke my heart and I couldn't stop the tears.  I haven't cried like that for a very long time and I think it was good to get it all out.  It hurt my heart because Isabelle is not Downs... she is Isabelle- my Isabelle.
If this happens again, I will be better prepared to speak up.  I don't think this doctor meant any harm or tried to offend me.  I think he is misinformed on the proper way to address someone.
Isabelle isn't Down syndrome- she has Down Syndrome.  She will always be Isabelle first but she just happens to have an extra chromosome.  However, it doesn't define who she is or who she will become... only she will do that.

1 comment:

Ellen Stumbo said...

At some point, when you are ready, it might not be a bad idea to either send a letter explaining how this makes you feel (maybe even a copy of this blog post) I don't think doctors understand. It took me months, but finally I said, "You know, I really do not care about any other kids with Down syndrome, I only care about Nichole, so I would really appreciate it if you referred to her as Nichole and nothing else." It actually worked, but now I wish I would have explained why and how it made me feel.
Hugs to you, I know how you feel.