Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Just call me Eeyore!! Woe is me... Today is my day to throw a little pity party. It is a party for one and even I don't really want to attend.
My morning started off a bit rocky and I wasn't feeling my best. My body has been a little achy today and Isabelle has definitely not liked any of my food choices. (the joys of pregnancy!)
My emotions have also been out of whack and I am sure that a lot of this has to do with the pregnancy hormones. You know, today is one of those days where I don't understand life and I think that it is cruel and unfair. I want to lay on the floor kicking and screaming until I get my way. (hey... doesn't it work for our kids sometimes??) Every time I think I have sorted through all of the possible emotions, one decides to show it's ugly head again. Why me?? Why my family?? Why my baby girl??
At this point, I know all of the right things to say when asked how I feel about my baby having DS but in reality-at times- I want to scream from the roof tops that it isn't fair and yes...sometimes I still get mad at the world. To be quite honest, I am scared!! Am I strong enough to handle these challenges??
All of these emotions that I am going through will never change my love for Isabelle. Most of my days are filled with happy thoughts and excitement to meet her. But there are those few days where I get overwhelmed with the emotionally side of Isabelle's diagnosis and it seems like I have to tread through these deep emotions once again. I have all these different emotions because I already love her so much! This is my baby girl that I had prayed for for so long and with that... I have to believe that this is the baby girl that is meant to be in my life. She is going to complete me and complete our family.
So as I sit here writing this... Isabelle is going crazy in my belly. She is doing her exercises and practicing her flips as usual. With that, I am reminded how truly blessed I am and my pity party is slowing beginning to fade away. I am sure I will have plenty more days filled with questions but as long as I remember that I am not alone and my family is blessed, I will get through them.