Thursday, September 16, 2010

No Bullies allowed...

I am realizing each and everyday that raising children is hard.  It is hard to know what to do in certain situations so you don't scar the child for life, right?  It is hard to juggle balance all of our daily tasks and still make sure that we give quality time to each of our boys.  We now have soccer practice, homework, church and baths to complete all before getting into bed at a reasonable hour.  Each night we are going and going.

My most recent parenting hurdle is bullying or more accurately being bullied.  I was a shy kid in school and probably didn't stand up for myself as much as I needed to.  I will never forget my 10th grade year, I was bullied everyday by a girl over an ugly boy!  I was not a fighter but if I had to get in a fight, couldn't it at least been over a cute boy??  I will never forget how I felt and how I hated to go to school.  I want to shield my boys from that feeling at least as long as I possibly can.  I know I can't be with them 24/7 and I am sure they will come across kids that are just plain mean.  However, I want to protect them for as long as I possible can and I have a hard time not fighting their battles for them.  I guess it is something people call the "protective Mommy" that comes out. 

Ethan had been telling me about a girl that has been bothering him at daycare and calling him names.   After he would talk to me, I would go over some things he could say to her to stand up for himself.  I explained that he needs to always be friendly but if someone is being mean then he needs to speak up in a strong voice and say you don't like what they are doing/saying.  I guess this wasn't working so it was really starting to bother him and affect his mornings on the days she was there at daycare.  So... I decided to speak with her myself about her treatment towards Ethan.  I kept it short and "sweet" but also making a point to explain that I don't like anyone treating my child that way. Ethan came home yesterday and said that she was playing with him that afternoon and she might even be his friend now.  I was very proud of her because this morning, she came and apologized to Ethan for calling him names and the way she had treated him. 

Ethan has a very sensitive heart and doesn't understand why some people might not like him.  He tells me " Mommy, I am nice to them.  I just don't understand why one day they are my friend and the next day they aren't."  It hurts my heart when he gets his feelings hurt.  I hope that we can continue to instill in him confidence in who he is.  He can't control how other people act but he can control his own actions.   A good lesson learned with many more to come. 

No comments: