A few weeks ago, our normal 2 week check up at the OB turned into a whirlwind of events to follow. We were sent to the high risk doctor after the OB noticed a cyst on our baby's neck. The high risk appointment included a forever long ultrasound where we saw our baby actually wave to us, kick and be completely stubborn. To us, we couldn't see anything different with this ultrasound than the boy's ultrasounds. However, after the doctor began to review the slides, his words were " I would like to go over some troubling findings." These are words that no parent wants to here. He mentioned the fluid around her neck as well as the size of her chin, then he moved to her heart. Our baby is missing the center wall between the ventricle (not sure of my medical terminology at this point) and due to her heart, there is fluid around her lung. The doctor did say that the heart is operable but he was worried about all of these issues combined. Would this baby be strong enough to survive the pregnancy and if so, how about the birth? With all of these findings, he said it would be wise for us to do the amino testing. I was not a big fan but after a quick glance at Ryan, we decided we would want to know if there is anything wrong so we could prepare. We were told that day that more than likely the baby had down syndrome but the testing would take 6 days (due to the holidays). Last Monday we received the phone call from the genetic counselor who confirmed what the doctor had already predicted and our world was forever changed. Our baby has an extra 21st chromosome.
The day we had our high risk appointment I decided to open a devotional that I had actually bought a few months ago. This is what I read:
My plan for your life is unfolding before you. Sometimes the road you are traveling seems blocked, or it opens up so painfully slowly that you must hold yourself back. Then, when time is right, the way before you suddenly clears- through no effort of your own. What you have longed for and worked for I present to you freely, as pure gift. Do not fear your weakness, for it is the stage on which My Power and Glory perform most brilliantly. As you persevere along the path I have prepared for you, depending on My strength to sustain you, expect to see miracles- and you will. Miracles are not always visible with the naked eye, but those who live by faith can see them clearly.- Jesus Calling (Sarah Young, devotional)
Ryan and I are beginning to come to terms with everything we have learned and are now trying to prepare the best way possible for our families new life journey. Like my previous posts have mentioned, our emotions have run wild mostly from fear of the unknown. What will our lives be like? What struggles will this baby face? We know that God will not give us more than we can handle so we are putting our trust in that. I pray that God will make me a stronger person so I can handle any obstacle and help this baby be the best she can be and live up to her fullest potential.
On Sunday, the boys and I headed back to church after skipping for the last few weeks. It was time to face those that have been praying for us. I was scared to have to explain the results or get the hugs I so desperately needed. Could I handle it? Well, I survived. I did have my moments of crying but I felt loved.